Motherhood and Mental Health: Finding Balance | Part 2

The Pressure to "Do It All"

If there's one thing that adds pressure to the already overwhelming task of motherhood, it's society’s expectation to "do it all." We're expected to work like we don’t have kids and parent like we don’t work. We’re told to excel in our careers, keep our homes spotless, attend every school event, and still be the loving, patient, hands-on mom. We say yes to every request, which can quickly drain us emotionally and physically, leaving us with little to give.

The truth is, it’s okay to say no. Saying no isn’t a sign of weakness or failure; it’s a powerful act of self-preservation. By setting boundaries and learning to decline requests that don’t align with our values or current capacity, we create space for the things that nourish us, whether it's spending time with our children without distractions, focusing on our own self-care and joy, or simply resting.

By learning to say no and honoring our own needs, we give ourselves the gift of presence and space to breathe, to reset, and to be the version of ourselves that we want to be. You deserve balance, you deserve time for yourself, and you deserve to feel whole, not fragmented by endless commitments and pressure we put on ourselves.

It’s OK to Need a Break

One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was that it’s okay to need a break and to not be perfect. As mothers, we are often expected to be the calm in the storm, the one who holds everything together. But the truth is, we can’t do it all, and we shouldn't have to. Taking time for yourself isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity for your well-being.

Sometimes, a break is as simple as putting on makeup or wearing an outfit that makes you feel like yourself again. For me, those small moments of self-care were empowering, helping me reconnect with who I was before the chaos of motherhood took over. Whether it’s enjoying a quiet cup of coffee, taking a longer bath with essential oils, going for a walk, or reading a book without interruptions, finding those moments to recharge is crucial.

Asking for Help is a Strength, Not a Weakness

Another lesson that took me a while to learn was asking for help. Growing up, I watched my mom raise four of us while my dad worked long hours running the family business. She seemed to handle it all with such ease, and I always thought she had it all together. As an adult, though, she opened up to me about how challenging it really was and how much she struggled in silence. It was a wake-up call for me. I realized that asking for help isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength. It’s about recognizing that we don’t have to do everything on our own, and we shouldn’t try to. Whether it's asking your partner to step in, leaning on friends, or seeking professional help through therapy, having a support system makes this journey easier. No one can do it all alone, and letting others in will help you navigate life's challenges.

Rediscovering Yourself After Major Life Changes

Rediscovering yourself as a woman after motherhood and major life changes isn’t easy, but it is possible. After my divorce, I had to rebuild my identity from the ground up. But through small steps of rediscovering my passions, setting boundaries, and allowing myself to just be human I started to feel more like myself again.

I also began focusing on my appearance, which I had neglected for too long. Dressing up and choosing outfits that made me feel sexy and confident became an empowering form of self-care. It wasn’t about impressing anyone, it was about reminding myself that I deserved to feel good in my own skin. I also turned to exercise to help me feel stronger, both mentally and physically. By eating healthier, doing things I loved, and carving out time for myself—whether it was reading or simply taking a walk I began to reclaim parts of myself I had long neglected.

Reconnecting with my old friends and making new ones was another key part of my journey. Their support and presence in my life made all the difference in making me feel like I had a village behind me.

As I rediscovered who I was, I also opened myself up to the possibility of love again. This newfound confidence and sense of self led me to my current partner, who complements me in ways I never imagined. He encourages me to keep evolving, supports me in ways I never thought possible, and helps me continue growing into the woman I’ve rediscovered.

Finding Balance

Motherhood is a beautiful and challenging experience, but it doesn’t have to come at the cost of your well-being. You deserve balance. You deserve time for yourself. You deserve to feel like a whole person, not just a role. By taking time to nurture yourself, asking for help when needed, and recognizing that it’s okay to take breaks, you can create a healthy balance that allows you to be the best version of yourself—not only for your children but also for you. It’s also important for your children to see that you aren’t perfect—that you are human. By embracing your imperfections, you teach them the value of self-care, resilience, and the importance of setting boundaries. It shows them that it’s okay to ask for help and take time to recharge, creating a healthier dynamic where they learn to prioritize their own well-being too. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or like you’ve lost your identity, know that you’re not alone. Every mother faces these challenges in her own way. The key is to take small steps toward rediscovering yourself, knowing your worth, and taking care of your mental health. You don't have to do this alone.

If what I’ve shared speaks to you, please know that you can reach out to me for a therapy consult. Email me at dina@bettycenterconnect.com. I’m here to help you navigate this time.